Welcome Back.

Welcome back to the blogoshpere, me!

I've been going into the backlogs to catch up on Party Down, Ally McBeal and season 1 of Psych. Rewatching Alias and Skins (Veronica Mars marathon is already planned for August).

I would like to begin by saying that I am keeping on top of my summer television pretty well right now. Thank goodness for day jobs, keeping my evenings free (and when they're not... well, that's what Tivo was invented for).

I'm looking forward to the spanking new seasons of Weeds, True Blood, Top Chef: Masters, Psych and Kathy Griffin. But those suckas have yet to take the stage...

Right now, I'm going into cardiopulminary spasms because TOMORROW is the beginning of the two-day bliss otherwise known as "So You Think You Can Dance." I have to confess, I am more obsessed with this show right now than I have ever been before. I have had dreams three nights in the past week about Vegas week (disturbing, no? I think I may have a problem). And the possibility of seeing just ONE taping of the top 20 (18, whatever) is completely justifying my time in Los Angeles right now. And I am OBSESSED with these two:

If you aren't already

I have succumb to temptation for the sake of increasing readership...

More people have to know what goes on inside my twisted mind.

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Kings: First Night

Here is what I noticed while watching tonight's episode:

Poor little rich boy, Prince Chuck Bass, seems to have a large whopping crush on our hero, Dah-veed. How funny would THAT be if they fucked? (I smell a SWEEPS stunt...)

The bumbling security guards provided for comedic effect are wonderful- they deserve more airtime.

Queenie looks like a cheap knockoff of Robin Wright Penn. 

Poor straight-edge Dah-veed. Little baggies make him sweat uncomfortably. 

Dirty Mistress has uncomfortably high cheekbones. Kingy-poo's money probably provided more than enough money for plastic surgery to make that possibly. But I'm not being unjustly judgemental. When a show is as boring thusfar as this episode, I HAVE to find things to amuse myself.

MICHAEL ARDEN!!!! Prince Chuck Bass' lover gave this show a whole new level of cred. 

Sickboy Bastard Child should just die. It'd make things a whole lot easier. And it would provide just enough internal conflict for Kingy-poo that it'll make for good-ish tv.

Rich man didn't want to see Michelle's cooter? He chose the King's socks instead. Good choice, homo. (I love the gays. It's a term of endearment)

DIE SICKBOY DIE!!! 

That car "crash" was fucking awesome. And as anti-animal cruelty as I am, the fact that the King of the Wrinkles hit a deer was hilarious.

I have come to the conclusion that Prince Chuck Bass is a masochist. How else can you explain what happened at the cluuuub?

The last 15 minutes were good. 

Skins: Season 3 Finale

When JJ had his swearing tangent, I blushed. He was so incredibly adorable. Poor JJ, I love him so.

And those straightedge guys. So funny. I can't even handle it.

Freddie's masturbation scene was classic. Loved it.

YES! Effy loves Freddie! 

And that race was so funny: I was so proud of JJ. It's adorable: the best talents he has are the WuShu Fingerhold and Carrying Old People. Oh, and giving inspirational words of wisdom to those in need. 

And I thought straightedge boy was straightedge, so why was he drinking a beer after he lost? That violates the rules of the straight-edge-ship. 

How "She's All That" when Cook went all "Your prince charming made a bet on you!"

If Cook pushing his dad off of their stolen boat is the climactic ending I was fearing, as good as it was, it was kind of disappointing. Seriously, what fucky kind of ending was that! 

Uh Oh

I am super-excited for "Southland" the new NBC show starring Ben McKenzie and produced by the creators of ER. But how is a girl to keep up with all of this TV and a full course load? It's on at the same time as the ABC triple-punch...

Well, it starts when Flight of the Conchords and Skins are done with their seasons, so maybe I'll have that extra internet hour for a new cop-drama.

Premieres on NBC on April 9 at 10PM

Kings: Goliath

I'm halfway through the pilot, and so far am unconvinced. It is too self-indulgent: it could have been only an hour, but instead the writers let Ian McShane continue on his chicken-egg debate for three minutes... Yes, it has its share of attractive men (by which I mean two) but nothing now is begging me to continue watching. 

Sebastian Stan's character is too Chuck Bass for my tastes (Ed Westwick is enough)... but is he a gay? He seemed to delight quite a bit in making out with a woman while staring intently at a man. Ohp, he is. And Daddy's a homophobe. Super. An unfaithful homophobe with an bastard child. Best kind. 

King Ian arranged all the bad stuff... oy vey, way to overcomplicate things. And Reverend Token Black Man is not only a man of the cloth but also a prophet... okay.

Dying Brother... these "emotional scenes" are toooooooooo contrived. I can't handle it. 

And the alternate-universe-kingdom thing is taking some getting used to. As is the contrived romance and lack of chemistry between Princessy Poo and David (which I am mentally pronouncing with a Spanish accent so it sounds more like dah-veed than day-vid).  I shall call him Dah-veed Mo-lay in honor of the many moles on the right side of his face and neck.  And what a powerful moving blood speech... NOT. The whole time he was shouting, I was really hoping that they'd just shoot him. 

It's decent. The mood of this show is different that that of most of the other shows on TV right now, and so I'm  going to try to get used to it. I think I'll follow this show until its inevitable impending cancellation (and until Macullay Culkin's guest stunt is over). Sad but true. Its numbers aren't good enough, and probably won't ever be.  

New Mindless Drivel

Here are some shows I am excited to let turn my brain into more mush than it already is. They are either spring pickups, summer shows or fall... But I'm too excited about them to keep quiet.

Harper's Island 

Someone gets killed EVERY WEEK. How fucking awesome is that?

Melrose Place

Ashlee... let's see how you do. And you too, Miss Capitalizing on Daddy David Cassidy. And I, for one, will always be a fan of Michael Rady (Greek comes back soon!)

Kings

I know it's on now, but I haven't been able to start it, so I'm pumped for that too.

The Bachelorette

I promised myself that I would drop the show after Jason was a tool, but Jillian is too cute to not watch.

Gossip Girl Spinoff

Sunset strip. The 80s. (So far, it's sounding a whole lot like new Broadway musical "Rock of Ages") and Brittany Snow. I loved American Dreams, so I'm excited to watch her weekly again.

Skins: Emily and Katie

Okay, so I know that it's a different kind of love, but what Katie said to Naomi about Emily being only hers was fucked up.

On the bright side, I'd like to learn "Twin"

And the most entertaining part of the episode was when their brother had to do the pull-ups. I actually laughed out loud. I also laughed out loud when I saw the poster of Tupac in their room and PANDORA DANCING!. Daddy Fitch is the funniest TV tool I've seen in a while. 

Thomas is the cutest ever

Did anyone else notice the Cassie-lookalike at the dance?She appears around 41:32 (on andy21's megavideo)

I don't know how my Thursday nights will be exciting anymore after next week. Even the ABC-triple punch (Betty, Grey's and Private Practice) don't excite me anymore.

Lost: Namaste

This show just gets better and better. Tween Ben and baby Ethan. And I love the fact that Jack is a janitor.

I've always been a Jack-as-leader supporter but Sawyer is refreshing and doing a really good job. Love quadrangle activate!

Skins: Effy

Opening Scene, she is wearing Miley Cyrus tights. Mistake.

That car chase was so intense. And then later, "under the moonlight," my god, I was so on edge. And ps, what kind of gas station was that? Creepersville.

Poor Effy. Cook is such an asshole. And Katie just makes everything worse, always. I was half-hoping she'd get shot by the creepers when she went for her walk alone in the woods. When she was fucking with Effy, it made me so furious. And Ef bashed her in the head with a rock. But when Effy got all Spring Awakening "hit me" masochistic on Freddie, I just laughed. Til they started fucking. 

And her sheets mildly reminded me of Tony's old sheets. Aw, the olden days. 

God, it's getting SOO good. Too bad there are only two episodes left in the season. And I am both dreading and eagerly awaiting the dramatic cliffhanger season ending which has become a Skins staple

Private Practice

Why are they trying to pull a Desperate Housewives and jump a month into the future? Bad move, Shonda.

And so sad that potential love interest for Addy was a skeezeball.

Heroes "Exposed"

IS IT JUST ME OR IS IT COMPLETELY OBVIOUS THAT HRG IS REBEL!!!???

This episode is actually decent. WOW SYLAR BACKSTORY!

Heroes now is reminding me of the second season of Dark Angel, but Heroes got renewed.

Skins: JJ

I love that Katie was fucking Freddie. Hilarious.

I think Thomas is the cutest ever. So it breaks my heart that Pandora and Cook are banging like Jamaican steel drums.

Coming into this episode, I was discouraged- I didn't like JJ and I thought he was a total creeper I'm actually really happy that this episode changed my mind.

And the ending was so sweet. 

Great Episode!

The Bachelor Finale and After the Final Rose Pt1

I don't even understand how Molly's ho-ishness made Jason TURN DOWN the woman he chose to get with her. Ridiculous!

And how embarrassing to have him DUMP poor sweet Melissa ON TV!

 

That's low, even for reality TV. 

The Brothers and Sisters Movie Event: A Running Commentary

I hope this is the episode where they get rid of Tommy. Balthazar Getty is a homewrecker (well, he cavorted with a homewrecker) and America's favorite television family cannot be a vehicle for a homewrecker.

My sweater right now matches Nora's. What does that say about me?

Seriously, Kitty freaked out that much because she wanted them "on the same page"? Ridiculous!

The Walkers are America's favorite alcoholic family.

And Robert has a terrible sense of humor. "It's a boy. It's a girl. It's a zi!"

I thought they all wanted to meet Ryan. But now they've turned into the peanut gallery of naysayers. They were like those guys from the WaMu commercials.

Why isn't Robert the real governor? He has so many brilliant ideas about keeping Cali green. Cali represent!

"Wiggle room" is a fantastic phrase. Why doesn't everyone use it more often?

Why am I saying "Why" so much tonight?

So Kitty and Robert LIVE in Santa Barbara and just commute to Pasadena and Downtown LA all the time? No way.

And it's BABY TIME! Let's pop this fucker out, Sonja Sones (aka female star of SLAM).

I would really like to bone Dave Annable. Right Now.

The baby is "cooked", Julia? That's gross.

I can't wait for California's First Family to have a little black child. 

Ken Olin looks goooooood. And wow, I just learned that he and Patricia Wettig (aka Holly) are married in real life. I thought he was married to Lena Olin (of Alias fame). Good thing sparks like theirs stem from truth.

Every time I see Emily Vandekamp, I think about how much I miss Everwood. Thank Buddha that show came to a conclusion at the end.

I'm bored with commenting on this- my television buddy is  being neglected. 

Lost: The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham

This episode is brilliant. Great job, writers for beginning to clarify things while still keeping things enshrouded with a sense on imminent doom. This is my favorite episode of the season yet: this season is getting better and better. They're almost starting to make up for the travesty that was season 2.

Something I Miss

Because I really like posting videos, and because today I was thinking about how much I miss the intro to season one of Skins, here you are. You may recognize Dev Patel of Slumdog fame- good job, he was Anwar, the quirky Indian. Dance to it- I know I do.

Head's Up

I just found a great new British show called Britannia High. Unfortunately it was cancelled after the one season (9 episodes). You can find the first four episodes on Surf the Channel and then hunt for the rest of them. They're also all on youtube. I found it because Maxxie from seasons 1 and 2 of Skins (looove!) plays the Danny Zuko.

 And he really is a singing/dancing Danny Zuko/Troy Bolton. Because this show is a British pop version of Fame and High School Musical with a dash of Skins flavor thrown in. Each episode (until the three at the end) focuses on a single character, telling us their story. And each episode has three original songs (musical theatre style, y'all) presented to both aid the story and make the viewer dance. And they are music-video style usually, from a black and white themed glamour-fest video to a roller disco party a little reminiscent of Starlight Express (with better music). Here are these two videos to sample: see if you like it. It's trash, but it's delightful. And it makes me want to get off my couch potato ass and dance like a motha.

Quick Thoughts on Some Shows

Heroes: Cold Wars

Really? The show has run out of ideas so much so that they're reverting back to the season one "the city is going to explode" idea: will Peter be the bomb this time too?

Skins: Naomi

I loved the Freddie episode. It was finally starting to get me emotionally invested with the new cast (but I still miss Sid and Cassie. Boo writers for not resolving ANYTHING on that one) However, Naomi's flip flopping between gay and straight was little more than just annoying. We all knew she was going to pick Emily over horny teacher, so why did it take so long? And is it just me, or did we catch a glance of Thomas walking the halls as a student in the college? Last thing I knew, he was the janitor and then had to go home and come back. He never went to the college as a student

Why is it taking so long for 90210 and Gossip Girl to come back, please tell me.

I'm convinced that the writers of Ugly Betty are trying to get Daniel and Whilemina together for real this time- all of their romantic entanglements begin and end at the same time. Are they destined for eachother? Yuck. Please bring in some fresh meat for them each, although I thought Molly was a cutie and I hope she stays. 

And finally, thank goodness the Grey's/Practice crossover is through. I watch both of them, but the contrived effort that the viewers felt to build a stronger fan base for each show was a little ridonkulous. 

Mini Break

While I am still keeping up on the shows, I need to take a small break from blogging for the next two weeks. After that I will be back, writing with more spunk and regularity than ever before.

90210 "Help Me Rhonda"

All I have to say about this episode is that the Rhonda sitch reeks of the Avery plotline from season three of Felicity. However, Rhonda is so much more likeable than douchey Annie, even in her manipulative grossness. 

ANNIE/Shenae- YOU CAN'T ACT. STOP TRYING!

And Adriana is actually growing in likeability, so right on. At least there's a good (if cliche) plot going on now, as opposed to the dumbassedness of Silver and Dixon.

Heroes "A Clear and Present Danger"

How far into the future did Heroes jump again?

This episode was the most chore-rific to watch yet. My eyes were closing as I watched, I had to force them open.

Why is Ali Larter still on this show? She is a terrible actress and her character doesn't matter. When you list the heroes, she is always the one you forget. So as much as I hate Nathan, I have to applaud him for getting that bitch shot with a dart. Good job, Nate. But what are they doing with the dart-ed people?

No wonder Claire's Texan, she teases those roots for supreme volume. Fly, Claire, fly with that balloon of inflated hair on top of your head!

"In Heroes, no one ever dies... except the black people. The Haitian's still alive, even though they haven't given him a real name yet."

Sassy blonde who is not Kristen Bell has gotten tres annoying.

And right on, Heroes, you enforce those racial stereotypes. You go for it, Tim Kring, make Mohinder drive that taxi. Not only does it echo his father's past, but what other character would they make drive a cab? Seriously, Mr. Kring?

Who is this sketchy new bad-guy henchman of Nathan's? And why must they always make Noah so sketchy and evil. Not okay. 

I'm proud Mohinder still has powers, but wisdom is not one of them. He used the open window of a cab door to shield himself from the deadly darts. It didn't work so well.

I love the turtle spirit guide and African black man. I'm so glad they're back, if only as an illusion of Matt's. Last episode, African black man was wearing a Universal Studios Orlando shirt. Sweet. Best costumed character of the entire show.

Ps. Hiro, why must you be such a cockblock? The Ando-cycle was really working for Ando. God knows he needs that poon. Then Hiro had to go get his dumb ass darted and captured.

What's in those darts and where can I get some? Better yet, what's in that Sylar and where can I get some?

Who the fuck is Rachel Mills, survivor of Pinehearst Explosion? Word to the creators, STOP WITH THE WEB SERIES! They make everything more confusing. 

When they paraded IV-moustached Claire into the airplane hangar, I could swear to Alllllalalalala that Verne Troyer was her body double.

Enough with this locking-the-Titans in an enclosed location. Those bitches are gonna bust out like my friend's case of mono.

But the last five minutes actually got better: until the strength of Mohinder and Peter's love kept Peter alive.

And starting next week, LOST- Heroes style. "It starts with a spectacular plane crash..."

Brought to you by the Nissan Versa, official car of Heroes.

Gossip Girl "Carnal Knowledge"

"This is madness." "No! This is Constance."

Spark Notes on tonight's episode:

Serena- it's called self-pity... get rid of it.

Blair's clique is ridiculous and annoying. 

Dorota is, by far, the best character on this show.

Dan Ho is at it agin. That was an inappropriately long amount of time for him to be stroking the teacher's hair before she finally said "STOP. This isn't right" and Thanks Gawd that Danrena is over. They are sickeningly annoying, not to have too much Blair-like cynicism or anything. And the whole "hot-for-teacher" premise is tired, but the sex was hot. 

Heroes "Dual"

I'd been putting off watching the most recent episode of Heroes. I didn't remember much and it hasn't been good since season 1. But with a brand new episode up on Monday, I wanted to make sure I was caught up. 

Now I know why I'd been putting it off. Watching Heroes feels like a chore now. And can't they fucking kill off Nathan already. The characters are boring: I long for the days of Micah and (yikes) even Adam. Claire's hair gets bigger with each episode- if they inflate it anymore, she'll become her own hot air balloon and gain the power of flight. And THANKS GOD that Peter has his powers back, now he can't be as emo and whiny.

Volumes 2 and 3 blew. Let's see how Volume 4 "Fugitives" delivers starting Monday...

Now that Pushing Daisies is cancelled (sad), maybe Bryan Fuller will FINALLY come back with his Ned-style touch and bring Heroes back from the dead.

Shows I'm Currently Following

This list is only as of today and is subject to change:

Desperate Housewives

Heroes

Gossip Girl

The Bachelor

90210

America's Next Top Model

Top Chef

Lost

Ugly Betty

Grey's Anatomy

Private Practice

True Blood

Brothers and Sisters

Weeds

Greek

Project Runway

Entourage

Secret Diary of a Call Girl

Momma's Boys

Dexter

Flight of the Conchords

Skins

The Plan

The Plan is this-

Watch episodes, post thoughts, insight and anything else. I will try to be witty, I may fail, but it's okay with me.